Conventional wisdom says that you shouldn’t review places or things you know…because you should come to the experience with the eyes of a child instead of formulated ideas or opinions. Be the reader, they say. And they have a good point. I shouldn’t give a review of my local bar, Park Tavern because it’s the watering hole I frequent for a reason. But, in one way, I disagree with that line of thinking – your neighborhood bar is like your friends – it’s a mirror of who you are, both good and bad. So, why wouldn’t you review the things you love and hate about yourself first. That’s why people ask others for advice because they have been there before. In this case, that source of knowledge comes from sitting at the same goddamn bar a thousand times and seeing the lunacy in many forms and then wondering why the fuck I still go to this place.
I tell you this because I love you, Denver Hopper. Or perhaps I love the idea of you having a damn good time at the places I do and then maybe we can have some shots together or at least our ghosts can mingle in the same places because we were there together, if only in spirit. Not every post will be like this, in fact, most won’t, but I want you to know who I am, first and foremost.
Cap Hill is one of the oldest and most eclectic neighborhoods in all of Denver. From the grocery store aptly known as “Queen Soopers” to The Ogden Theatre, this neighborhood is loaded full of wild nights and urgent regrets. It’s the drug addled, hot-wired brain of the city. It’s Jack Kerouac Country. And Located off 11th and Ogden, The Park Tavern is a throbbing nerve buried at the center of it all.
Sometimes I wonder what they are trying to accomplish with the esthetics of the dive bars, specifically The Park Tavern. Beyond the curious and delightful neglect, the light is too dim to reconcile the years. The neon moon is really your only source of light at all hours. Seats for watching one of their many TVs are plentiful. The Park Tavern isn’t so much a bar, as it is a place of worship – a place to reveal the notion of dive culture. And this low brow financing of values has its foundation in the idea that you can come as you are. Whether you are homeless or in need of an ear for your weary voice, the dining hall of the normal man is where you can find your temporary remedies for this fucked up life.
In terms of set and setting, the hours you are at The Park Tavern don’t matter. It’s the TV show Cheers, in a way, but without the tacky one-liners and an overall sense that you do matter. I mean, you can matter. That’s up to up to you, always, and in every facet of life. But it’s easy to be anonymous there too.
The customers are different on Tuesdays for 2 dollar you-call-its. The crowd at the Park Tavern on Tuesdays reminds me of some weird conglomeration of hipster and frat and all things rowdy. But if you are looking to have space, relax and watch the TV, Tuesday is not the night for you. It’s a jungle on that night and there is no place for calm thoughts out in the goddamn wild.
There are three different 2-for-1 happy hours throughout the day. The place caters to every kind of drunk with a constant rotation of different microbrews and 3 dollar Fireball shots. The food is tasty and I recommend the pepperoni rolls.
I once watched a petite blonde girl who couldn’t weigh more than a 100lbs vomit out half her body weight onto the table in a slow, timely fashion. I was horrified and mesmerized in the rapture of that moment. It was like watching the gods unclog a garden hose. I’ve also had wild conversations with interesting veterans about the woes of life. Their impassioned speeches brought warmth to my heart and shots to my lips. The latter is far more common than the former, I promise.
The crawl out into the night can start anywhere. Denver is a goddamn big city. The Park Tavern is a house of worship where life happens in all interesting forms, both in sickness and in health. So, when the neon moon calls you, The Park Tavern is a good starting point or a finishing touch. What can I say? It’s a people watching paradise with adequate bar food and cheap drinks. Enjoy.
The Park Tavern
Website: theparktaverndenver.com
Address: 931 E 11th Ave, Denver, CO 80218
